ASIAN MENTAL HEALTH BLOG
Writing on Asian identity, family dynamics, and the work of becoming yourself.
Honest, specific, and written for 1.5 and 2nd generation Asian immigrants who are done with generic advice.
I write about the things my clients bring into sessions. The guilt that surfaces when you try to want something different. The anger that has been building for years without a name. The family dynamics that shaped you before you knew they were shaping you.
The topics are specific because the experiences are specific. If you have ever felt like mainstream mental health content was not really written for you, you are probably right. This is.
5 Hidden Costs of Ending Intergenerational Trauma in Asian Families (No One Talks About This)
Being the first person in your family to address intergenerational trauma is both transformative and deeply painful. This article explores the hidden emotional costs of change, including blame, shame, misunderstanding, and relational tension, and why healing often disrupts family systems before it creates lasting change.
Why You Self-Sacrifice in Relationships and Why it Feels Like Love: Filial Piety and Emotional Neglect in Asian Families
Filial piety often teaches you to prioritize your family over yourself, but over time, that can turn into guilt, people-pleasing, and difficulty setting boundaries. This article explores how self-sacrifice in Asian families shapes your relationships and why it’s so hard to choose yourself without feeling like you’re doing something wrong.
Why Good Therapists Do Their Own Healing Work: What Clients Should Know About Therapy
Many people worry about whether their therapist is “qualified enough” or emotionally stable enough to help them. This post explores why good therapists actively engage in their own healing work, how this supports client care, and why therapy is ultimately a human relational process rather than a one sided expert dynamic.
How Therapy Actually Works And Why You Shouldn’t “Just Trust the Process”
“Trust the process” can feel vague and frustrating. This breaks down how therapy actually works so you can build real trust based on understanding, not blind faith.
People Pleasing and Anger: Why Suppressed Needs Turn Into Explosive Emotional Reactions
People pleasing often looks calm on the surface, but it can build into intense emotional pressure over time. This article explores how suppressed needs, insecure attachment, and fear of rejection can lead to anger, and how boundaries help regulate emotional intensity.
Learned Helplessness From Trauma and How to Rebuild Personal Agency
Trauma can create a long lasting sense of helplessness that follows you into adulthood. This article explores learned helplessness, why self determination feels difficult, and how small intentional actions rebuild personal agency and emotional control over time.
Workplace Bullying and Trauma: How People-Pleasing Leads to Powerlessness and Reclaiming Your Voice
Workplace bullying often does not begin with overt conflict, but with subtle patterns of people pleasing, fear of disapproval, and internalized powerlessness. This article describes how these dynamics can develop in professional environments and how trauma responses from earlier life experiences can shape workplace behaviour. It follows a real case example of shifting from approval seeking to internal authority, and explores how healing involves rebuilding a sense of agency, boundaries, and self-trust in relational power dynamics.
10 Mental Health Strategies for Surviving Family Gatherings When You Dread the Holidays
Family gatherings can be emotionally complex, especially when relationships are strained. This practical guide offers strategies for navigating holidays with more safety and intention, including boundary setting, exit plans, emotional preparation, and ways to protect your mental health while staying connected on your own terms.
Codependency in Asian Immigrant Families: A Conversation With Harry Au
Many adult children of Asian immigrant families struggle with guilt, boundaries, and feeling responsible for their family’s emotions. In this podcast conversation, I explore how immigrant family dynamics can contribute to codependent patterns and how adult children can create healthier relationships while honoring their cultural values.