ASIAN MENTAL HEALTH BLOG
Writing on Asian identity, family dynamics, and the work of becoming yourself.
Honest, specific, and written for 1.5 and 2nd generation Asian immigrants who are done with generic advice.
I write about the things my clients bring into sessions. The guilt that surfaces when you try to want something different. The anger that has been building for years without a name. The family dynamics that shaped you before you knew they were shaping you.
The topics are specific because the experiences are specific. If you have ever felt like mainstream mental health content was not really written for you, you are probably right. This is.
Why Is It So Hard to Live My Own Life When I Love My Family?
You love your family, but why does choosing your own life feel selfish or ungrateful? Explore how Asian family expectations, filial piety, perfectionism, emotional neglect, and people-pleasing can make it difficult to prioritize your own needs, and learn how to rebuild your sense of personal agency without feeling like you're betraying the people you love.
Guilt and Shame In Asian Families: Filial Piety Explained
Growing up in an Asian immigrant family can mean feeling torn between honouring your parents and living life on your own terms. Learn how filial piety, intergenerational trauma, and unhealthy family dynamics can contribute to guilt, people pleasing, and difficulty developing your own identity.
Why You Overthink When Socializing: How Cultural Hierarchy Can Fuel Social Anxiety
Socializing can become exhausting when you are constantly trying to figure out how you are supposed to act around other people. For many Asian Canadians, cultural expectations around hierarchy, respect, and social roles can contribute to social anxiety and overthinking.
Learned Helplessness in Immigrant Families: Why You Feel Stuck Even When Life Has Changed
Learned helplessness can develop when childhood environments repeatedly teach that effort does not change outcomes. For many children of immigrants, this shows up later in adulthood as difficulty taking action, tolerating discomfort, or believing that change is possible even when circumstances have improved.
Turning Red and Intergenerational Trauma: What the Film Gets Right About Asian Family Dynamics
Turning Red offers a powerful portrayal of emotional inheritance and mother daughter dynamics in Asian families. This explores what the film gets right and what it simplifies about intergenerational trauma, emotional suppression, and the slow process of change across generations.
Signs You Grew Up With Emotional Neglect (in Asian Immigrant Families)
Emotional neglect does not always look like obvious trauma. Many people grow up with loving parents who provided food, shelter, and education, yet still struggle with feeling disconnected, unsupported, or unsure of their own emotions. Learn how childhood emotional neglect develops, why it is common in Asian immigrant families, and how it impacts anxiety, relationships, self worth, and emotional connection in adulthood.
The Model Minority Myth: How It Impacts Asian Mental Health, Identity, and Self-Worth
The Model Minority Myth affects more than how Asian communities are viewed. It can shape our identity, self-worth, perfectionism, and mental health. Learn how this stereotype impacts Asian Canadians and how to define yourself beyond achievement.
Asian Identity in Canada: Why There Is No “Right Way” to Be Asian
Many Asian Canadians grow up feeling pressure to define their identity through external expectations such as cultural authenticity or assimilation. This post explores how identity is shaped by personal experience, systemic racism, and cultural expectations, and why there is no single correct way to be Asian.
FOB vs Banana Labels: Why Asian Identity Is More Complex Than Either Category
Identity labels like FOB and “banana” force a false binary on Asian identity that does not reflect lived experience. Many second generation Asians exist in between and beyond these categories, and real psychological health comes from moving past external labels toward a more flexible and self defined sense of identity.
Rebel vs Explorer Identity: How to Move Beyond Fight Mode Into Authentic Living
Many people build identity around resistance and fighting injustice, but this can quietly keep them stuck in tension and burnout. This explores the difference between a “rebel” identity and an “explorer” identity, and how shifting toward curiosity and self discovery creates more freedom, authenticity, and emotional balance.
Anti-Black Racism in Asian Communities: Why It Matters for Your Own Healing
Many Asian Canadians grow up disconnected from the history of racism. This post explores how anti-Black racism and internalized racism are connected, and why understanding both is essential for healing and self-awareness.
What Internalized Racism Looks Like for Asian Canadians And How to Heal It
Internalized racism can quietly shape how you see yourself and others. This explores how it shows up in everyday thoughts, and how reflection can help you begin to heal.
Why Authenticity Matters in Therapy And How It Helps You Open Up
A behind-the-scenes look at how authenticity in therapy builds trust, deepens conversations, and helps clients feel safe enough to truly open up.
How to Talk About Racism in Therapy Without Feeling Stuck or Powerless
Understanding racism can be validating—but it can also leave you feeling stuck. This article explores how to acknowledge structural racism while still focusing on your own healing, growth, and sense of control.
Why It Feels So Hard to Spend Money on Yourself as an Asian Immigrant or Second Generation Adult
Many second generation Asian immigrants struggle with spending money on themselves, even when financially stable. This article explores how scarcity mindset, cultural guilt, and early family conditioning shape emotional patterns around money and self worth.
How to Improve Seasonal Affective Disorder Symptoms at Home: 5 Sensory and Environmental Strategies
Seasonal changes can impact mood, energy, and emotional regulation in ways that feel difficult to control. This article explores five practical, sensory based strategies to create a home environment that supports emotional stability and comfort during darker months.
What Your Fantasies Reveal About Trauma, Identity, and Emotional Healing in Asian diaspora
Your inner fantasies are not random. They often reflect unmet emotional needs, identity formation, and early relational experiences. This article explores how imagination can reveal patterns of trauma, masculinity, and healing across different stages of emotional development.
Everything Everywhere All at Once and the Immigrant Parent Child Relationship: Exploring Cultural Expectations and Family Dynamics
Everything Everywhere All at Once highlights many themes familiar to children of immigrants, including family expectations, cultural differences, sacrifice, and identity. I was featured in this VeryWell Mind article, where I share my perspective on immigrant parent-child relationships and the mental health experiences that shape Asian families.
Asian Immigrant Mental Health: Understanding Shame, Filial Piety, and Intergenerational Trauma
Asian immigrant mental health is shaped by more than individual experiences. In this panel discussion, Harry Au explores intergenerational trauma, shame, filial piety, family expectations, and the experiences that influence mental health in Asian communities
Asian Mental Health: Understanding the Experiences of Asian Canadians in Therapy
Asian Canadians often navigate unique experiences related to culture, family expectations, identity, and emotional wellbeing. In this podcast conversation, Harry Au discusses Asian mental health, therapy, and the challenges many Asians in the diaspora face when seeking support