ASIAN MENTAL HEALTH BLOG
Writing on Asian identity, family dynamics, and the work of becoming yourself.
Honest, specific, and written for 1.5 and 2nd generation Asian immigrants who are done with generic advice.
I write about the things my clients bring into sessions. The guilt that surfaces when you try to want something different. The anger that has been building for years without a name. The family dynamics that shaped you before you knew they were shaping you.
The topics are specific because the experiences are specific. If you have ever felt like mainstream mental health content was not really written for you, you are probably right. This is.
Fear of Abandonment and Rejection: Why It Feels So Intense (and What to Do About It)
Fear of rejection and abandonment can feel overwhelming—but it’s not a flaw. This article explains the evolutionary and psychological roots of these fears, and how to start regulating them in your daily life.
Why You Self-Sacrifice in Relationships and Why it Feels Like Love: Filial Piety and Emotional Neglect in Asian Families
Filial piety often teaches you to prioritize your family over yourself, but over time, that can turn into guilt, people-pleasing, and difficulty setting boundaries. This article explores how self-sacrifice in Asian families shapes your relationships and why it’s so hard to choose yourself without feeling like you’re doing something wrong.
What Sports Reveal About Your Psychology: Ego, Codependency, and Fear of Failure in Performance
Sports often reveal psychological patterns we do not notice in daily life. This article explores how fear of being selfish, codependent tendencies, and avoidance of failure can show up in competitive play and reflect deeper relational patterns.
People Pleasing and Anger: Why Suppressed Needs Turn Into Explosive Emotional Reactions
People pleasing often looks calm on the surface, but it can build into intense emotional pressure over time. This article explores how suppressed needs, insecure attachment, and fear of rejection can lead to anger, and how boundaries help regulate emotional intensity.
Workplace Bullying and Trauma: How People-Pleasing Leads to Powerlessness and Reclaiming Your Voice
Workplace bullying often does not begin with overt conflict, but with subtle patterns of people pleasing, fear of disapproval, and internalized powerlessness. This article describes how these dynamics can develop in professional environments and how trauma responses from earlier life experiences can shape workplace behaviour. It follows a real case example of shifting from approval seeking to internal authority, and explores how healing involves rebuilding a sense of agency, boundaries, and self-trust in relational power dynamics.
Codependency in Asian Immigrant Families: A Conversation With Harry Au
Many adult children of Asian immigrant families struggle with guilt, boundaries, and feeling responsible for their family’s emotions. In this podcast conversation, I explore how immigrant family dynamics can contribute to codependent patterns and how adult children can create healthier relationships while honoring their cultural values.